The Psychological Underpinnings of Relational Instability: Reframing 'Moral Failure' as a Consequence of a Fragile Self

The journal draft proposes a psychological re-evaluation of behaviors commonly seen as moral failures, such as infidelity and emotional unavailability. Instead of viewing them as character flaws, the paper posits they are logical, albeit dysfunctional, consequences of a fragile sense of self rooted in an inner narrative of unworthiness and a deep-seated fear of abandonment.A key mechanism identified is "cultural enmeshment," where an individual's identity is derived from a diffuse peer group or cultural dynamic. This enmeshment diverts the emotional resources and loyalty required for a secure, one-on-one partnership, leading to a state of emotional unavailability. The individual, in effect, self-sabotages their relationships to protect against the perceived threat of a singular, deep bond, thereby perpetuating the very fear of abandonment they are trying to avoid. The paper concludes by advocating for a diagnostic lens informed by extreme psychological states, like BPD, to better understand these subtle drivers and shift the focus of therapy from behavioral correction to building an internal sense of self-worth.